Before we get started, here is my dog inserted into a picture from my trip to Alaska to cheer us up. I have been making these and sending them to my roommate back home for giggles.
Presented without comment because it is the middle of the night and I still have the giggles from the first segment of the show about Hobby Lobby.
Citizens United did not establish corporate personhood or declare that corporations are people. That was established a very long time ago (at least as long ago as 1816) and gives corporations the ability to do things like buy and sell property, open bank accounts, enter into contracts, and sue and be sued, among other…